


Humanity Is Not Prepared to Welcome Love

by PrimaImperatrix



Category: Ninguém Tá Olhando
Genre: Angels, Angelus - Freeform, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brazil, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e06, F/M, Heavy Angst, Missing Scene, Ninguem Ta Olhando - Freeform, Nobody's Looking, OTP: I'll show up for you, Partner Betrayal, Post-Betrayal, Spoilers, Touching, Trust Issues, angel - Freeform, red headed angel, thank you my angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimaImperatrix/pseuds/PrimaImperatrix
Summary: "I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them, I don’t want to see you here.”She didn’t want to see him? Fine. That was an easy enough request for an Angelus. In one long blink, he phased out her sight just as she’d asked. But, she had to know he was still there, that he would never leave her suffer like this alone. Even if she convinced herself it was another betrayal of trust, even if she wouldn’t forgive him, he could never just leave her broken. He was right here, perfectly within reach. All she had to do was call his name, and he would show up for her. He would always show up for her.
Relationships: Ulisses/Miriam
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Humanity Is Not Prepared to Welcome Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Favlie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Favlie/gifts).



> Spoilers for Episode s1e6- (dis)beliefs.
> 
> While this is a Brazilian show and the dialogue is in Portuguese, I am a spoiled American who watched it with English dubs and with English subtitles, so this is based on the English version of the lines.
> 
> I'm sure people probably see this as creepy and an invasion of privacy, but I'm fascinated by the idea of the Angelus being invisible, and their ability to control who they can appear for and when. I love the the angst in being there with her, but not being able to touch her, even as she is falling apart. 
> 
> After their fight, the scene changes to Greta and Chun, so there is no clear determination that Uli leaves the apartment right away, but rather just "isn't there" when she opens her eyes, like she asked. Then, the next scene we see is Fred attacking him at the elevator. This is what I imagine happened in the time after their fight while Fred is waiting for Uli outside the apartment.

In four short words, Miriam had managed to encapsulate the very essence of heartbreak.

“You read my file.”

It wasn’t a question— it was an accusation. Fighting the guilt tightening his chest, dragging down his heart, Uli persisted in defense.

“I had too. You dumped me over an issue that doesn't exist.”

“You read it on the same day I told you never to read it,” she spat, brushing past him.

Darting after her, Uli countered her argument with the only response he could use to justify his actions.

“I did it because I don’t want to lose you.”

“You just wanted to prove you were right.”

Every word came with laced with poison, but he would not yield to the acid in her tongue. Not without making one last stand. Yes, she was in pain, and it was making her irrational, but even like this, even at her worst, even when she was trying to hurt him back, she was worth fighting for to the very end.

Cutting off her escape into the living room, he stepped directly into her path. “No, I did it because I love you.”

Whether by the physical barrier of his body or his words, she stopped dead beneath his looming presence. His confession hung in the air between them, neither able to break the silence. It was true that Uli hadn’t known Miriam long enough to decode her nuances, to be able to interpret every tone, every look, the intention of every word to discern whether it was meant to be taken on face value or it was all to shield her vulnerability. But, he had witnessed her break up with Richard. It hadn’t looked or sounded like this. It hadn’t felt like this. This was different, and even as inexperienced as he was with human eccentricities, he knew why. Holding her mahogany gaze with an uncharacteristic firmness in his own, he searched her eyes for the truth he knew resided there. Uli had an instinct for truth, and the truth was he knew she loved him too. Only now, he had wounded her pride too much for her to admit it. 

He took a deep breath, sighing as he continued helplessly, “I don’t want us to break up over a pointless reason.”

“No,” she said, setting her jaw and straightening the slightest bit to stand taller. “We’re breaking up because you betrayed me.”

Betray her? How could she possibly think that? Until that moment in his remarkably short life as an Angelus, Uli had thought the most sensitive part of his body were his wings. But, squirming and writhing under Sandro’s scalpel was preferable to the way she wielded words as daggers to pierce his heart.

“You’re a smart guy, Uli, so I’m sure you understand how bad you just fucked up.” A fierceness shadowed her face, an impenetrable mask to protect herself. “Since I’m a Capricorn now, I have to be pragmatic.” A single tear streaked down her left cheek. “Get out. I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them, I don’t want to see you here.”

Slowly, her eyes closed, but not before the tears lining them broke from the rims, sending another tear down her opposite cheek. His throat was closing up, burning with unspoken things, arguments he could make that would only fall on deaf ears. Instead, he swallowed them down bitterly, his adam’s apple bobbing, and merely mirrored her by closing his eyes. She didn’t want to see him? Fine. That was an easy enough request for an Angelus.

In one long blink, he phased out her sight just as she’d asked. Walking over to the door, he opened it, then slammed it so she would think he had stormed out. The sound echoed, and she flinched at the noise, her eyes tentatively opening, taking in the now empty looking apartment. Convinced she was alone, she dropped her protective facade, her breath hitching as she collapsed to her knees in the doorway between the dining and living rooms, anguished.

Horrified, Uli rushed to her side, dropping to the floor as sobs racked her body, unrelenting now that she had opened the floodgates of withheld emotions. His hands floated uselessly, unable to touch her, to comfort her. Fred was wrong. The worst torture this universe could contrive was not being able to take Miriam in his arms as she came undone, holding her until her tears were spent.

Slumping sideways, she covered her face with one hand, muffling her whimpers, the other stretching above her head, flexing and fisting the fabric of the rug tightly. All Uli could do was lower himself down, stretching out beside her, and watch. Her tears collected in a damp stain beneath her cheek. She looked absolutely pitiful, so wretchedly broken. Pushing his hand as close as he dared, he rested the tips of his long fingers just millimeters from hers, hoping unconsciously she would sense him and take some minor comfort in the gesture. She had to know he was still here, that he would never leave her suffer like this. Even if she convinced herself it was another betrayal of trust, even if she wouldn’t forgive him, he could never just leave her broken and alone.

Vision blurring, Uli shook his head and swiped at his eyes with his free hand. When he pulled his hand back, light glistened on the wetness left behind. Tears. His first, in fact. Uli had never cried before. He didn’t even know Angelus could. They stayed that way for a long — Miriam emptying the contents of her heart and soul while Uli watched helplessly. He was right here, perfectly within reach. All she had to do was call his name, and he would show up for her. He would always show up for her.

“Damn it, Uli…” she said weakly.

Jumping at his name, he thought he’d been caught. Had he let his guard slip, his own despair breaking his concentration? But, despite her dark eyes staring directly into the space where she would find his, they were unfocused.

“I never asked for the truth. You’re supposed to keep it in unless I ask for it.”

Part of Uli wished the chief really existed. There should be someone there for her when he couldn’t, that she could plead to, pray to, make her suffering end. Someone to help her find her way, to see past her pain to the reason beyond. Obviously, right now, it couldn’t be him no matter how badly he wished it to be. He had tried, and failed. He had failed her.

“I just wanted you to see that you were trading one system where you didn’t fit for another one. You think Astrology explains why you don’t fit, why you think you’re incapable of being loved.” He stared at the minuscule space between their fingers, aching to close the gap and take her hand, to make his presence known to her. “I never wanted to change the woman you are — I love that woman. I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you, so that you know you are enough. Miriam… you are enough. You are everything to me.”

Her fingers twitched, causing him to flinch, jerking his hand back, fearful of her accidental touch. Then her eyes fluttered, the lids heavy. Having cried herself out, she was exhausted. How long they had laid there together crying, he didn’t know. Head drooping, she rested the weight of her head on her outstretched arm, eyes shut again. There was no way he was just going to let her sleep there on the floor.

Waiting until her breathing rose and fell with a consistent rhythm, he pushed himself from the floor. Retrieving a blanket, he wrapped it around her, protecting her exposed skin from his touch. Gently, he slid his arms beneath her knees and back, lifting her from the floor and carrying her to the bedroom. Shifting at the change in position, she curled tightly against him, pressing her forehead into the plane of his chest. A layer of white cotton and an unnecessary red tie was all separated their skin.

Settling her onto the mattress, the loss of her warmth and her comforting weight in his arms loosed a few more tears from his eyes. Kneeling at her bedside, he clenched his hands into fists to deny himself the temptation of brushing the dark curls away from her face where they had fallen. 

Of all the humans he had met or helped, she was by far the most confounding. A being of pure contradiction. Profoundly kind to perfect strangers, yet capable of such cruelty to those she loved, who loved her in return. Thoughtful and enlightened to a fault. A free spirit who refused to be bound by society’s rules, but clinging to the idea she was ruled by cosmic forces. All she wanted was for anyone, anything to reveal her purpose — so desperate that she was willing to be controlled by the unseen, yet too proud and stubborn to relinquish control. Living cursed, like him, to see the absolute truths in the world, everywhere... but right in front of her own face.

Leaning over, his lips hovered just above her ear as he whispered, “I’ll be here when you’re ready to welcome my love. Until then, know in your heart that you are loved Miriam, and you are worth the fight.”

Risking everything, he could no stand to watch her suffer needlessly, just out of reach from his comfort. Gingerly, he pressed his lips to her temple, putting everything into that long, slow kiss he had been prevented from earlier. Then, not looking back, he fled the apartment before she roused at his touch. Silently, he slipped through the door, locking it behind him, and pressed the button for the lift.

**Author's Note:**

> I really needed something to break my dry spell with writing, and this show came along at the perfect time. I know I should be finishing my Aladdin fic, but this was too ripe with angst to not take advantage of.


End file.
